Passion and Heart

If you have been reading this blog for any length of time you know that I write about what is on my heart at the moment and I write with passion. Being transparent can cause people to question why I am sharing what I am sharing. They can get irritated or at least uneasy because they might even know or think they know why I am sharing what I am. I purposely do not share names of people or even groups or organizations that I am talking about because that is not important. What is important to me is to share what I am experiencing. 

If you look at the number of readers of this blog there have been several hundred and some are local readers but most are in other states or even countries. I know that somewhere within that group of readers there is at least one person who is experiencing what I am and is looking for someone who understands. Every now and then I get a letter like the one I shared yesterday and I know that the Holy Spirit spoke through me.

Because I write with passion and I write from my heart I probably offend people. I apologize if I have ever written anything in such a way that has given you clues to what has tripped my trigger. My intention is to share what is on my heart not who or what has triggered it. 

For 45 years I lived holding my passion and feelings inside. I did not share them because some people told me I should not share them because the feelings I had might upset people. For years I lived in a protective bubble and I will not go back to hiding my feelings. So every now and then I will have to write a short letter of apology. I do not apologize for sharing what I am feeling but I apologize that I did not protect the ones who triggered those feelings.

God created us to have emotions and passion. I think He can deal with them or else He would not be asking us to pray. 

Father, if I have had a wrong attitude when I write in this blog I ask You to reveal that to me and then help me correct it. Thank you for touching one heart with this post. My Your Holy Spirit bring people freedom and may what I write bring You glory. In the power, the authority and the name of Jesus Christ amen 

An Example of Ministering to People without an Official Position

Mr. Clark,

I found your blog through another blog one man revival. I really like some of your viewpoints on things. I like the "Have you been Jesus lately?" Jesus does amazing works through us. I think it is incredibly realistic than you can be Jesus to someone.

Perhaps what I found most interesting was your interpretation of Matthew 25:14-36.

A little about myself...
I was raised in a Lutheran church in PA where we hardly ever missed a Sunday. Sometime around my senior year of high school our church approved to spend $300,000 on church renovation instead of sharing a youth pastor with another Lutheran church and paying half his salary of around $18,000. I wondered why would God do this? Why would good people of the church do this? It turned me off to not only my church, but to organized religion in general. I still believed in God, but I didn't believe in anything else.

Unfortunately the renovation project took place throughout my freshman year in college... at #1 party school Penn State no less. It was a poor time in a man's life for him to lose his direction, but I did. The next four years was filled with a lot of drinking and time wasting. I graduated 3rd in my major, but you could hardly ever find me at class. (I graduated high school first in my class and am sure I could have gotten at least a 3.9 if I had applied myself instead of my 3.63) If there was a bad habit, I picked it up... idleness, drunkeness, tobacco use. A lot of my friends and teachers saw I had a natural gift of smarts and figured I should achieve great things. Most of my finance buddies defined 'great things' as an accumulation of stuff and for the first time in my life I measured self worth by net worth. (I was raised on a dairy farm where people/family were more important than family.) I was on a course to kill myself either physically by my lifestyle or spiritually the way I was distancing myself from God. (Emotionally I was already dead to the pains of the physical world. My compassion for others was gone.) During this time I was approached by a lot of people that wanted to "push" me towards their religion or beliefs. This only turned me off even more. I wanted a relationship with God, not a theological principle or building. Things were bad and then God intervened...

I had a lot of great jobs lined up; despite my lack of effort and poor attitude employers could see that I had potential and were willing to pay a lot of money for it. Then my uncle's hired help quit and I chose to return to the farm where I would be making $18,000 a year, roughly about 1/3 of my best offer. Despite the fact that I thought I was dead to feeling, God showed me that a piece of me was still willing to put family first. I came home a started to make small changes: my low salary prevented matieral things so I found the joy in God's day, a new calf, sunshine. Being on a farm makes you work hard and when you are dealing with animals you have to be responsible. The idleness stopped. I still couldn't find the nerve to go back to church. I didn't think I was worthy to go. It was weird. I felt like I could never go because of where I had been in college. Reluctantly I went back and it is good. I haven't cared about denomination, or offering, or church council.... I focused on being there when God needed me.

Anyways, I realize God has forgiven me for my sins and to be honest that isn't what bothers me. What bothers me is how I wasted his gifts I was entrusted with. He gave me so much and I just wasted it. It was hard for me to shake, then roughly 2 years after college I had an interesting "revelation." All of this was in preparation to serve God. During all of that idleness, I learned to play guitar and have become a good guitar player and can worship him through music. I struggle with tobacco addiction, but I realized if I could quit that, I could quit anything. I saw the struggles that some people had with booze first hand. (Before college I had always been judgemental.) Then I learned that there was no right/ wrong church or way. A relationship with Jesus Christ and God is right; anything else is just distraction.

Finally, I made the decision to learn more about God. I plan on going to seminary. I don't want to be a preacher. Jesus wasn't a preacher. He was a teacher. He lived His life teaching people how to live...and He lived it out. I'm not doing this so I can stand up in front of the church on Sundays. I am doing this so I can be the church on the everyday. God has given me great gifts, and I don't plan on playing it safe anymore as in your interpretation of Matthew 25. With a finance focus, we were always focusing on return on investment. Is there any greater return on investment than with God? If you just do a little bit everything multiplies. His love and power are awesome.

I like your blog and love your description. I wish you the best as you continue on your journey to serve Christ.

Sincerely,

Steven
I believe that each of you have a gift to share with others and I pray that you will discover your outlet for doing so. It could be at work, in a coffee shop, or at your local food bank.