Fatherhood

The following post was made at REAL Men RoCK blog     

Yesterday all across the United States of America people celebrated a day honoring their father. Meals were shared and Cards and gifts were given in most households. With this post I want to stir in you good and bad memories of your father. I hope that most of the memories are good ones but let's be honest no father is perfect and there will also be some bad memories.

     In my own life I know that I have made some really bad mistakes which hurt my children. I was not an abuser but having an addictive personality and my fear of abandonment I tended to hide myself in a fantasy world. I often spent my time playing games on the computer or not talking. Those traits still affect the relationship I have with my children.

     I also did some things right. I often found ways to show love to my daughter like placing candy kisses on her pillow or giving her cards for no particular reason. I would guess you would have to ask my children for those things they feel I did right.

     Enough about me. I know that many of you have been hurt by the actions of your dads. They were alcoholics, work-a-holics, abusive, angry, or distant. I want you to consider something about them but do so without disregarding how they were. Consider what caused them to be the man they were. What wounds did they have in their lives that drove them to be alcoholics, abusive, angry and distant. What caused them to be who they were is not an excuse for how they treated you but it will help you understand why.

     Consider your own life why are you like you are. If you will do this I believe you will find that you are like you are because of events in your life that control you. That is exactly what caused your dad to be like they were.

     The good news is that cycle can be broken beginning with you. Yes it is too late for you to do anything about the past but you can begin to tackle those wounds in your life so that today and tomorrow will be different.

     I know today I am not the man who I was just a few short years ago. I still struggle with some things like playing games on the computer but I am getting better.

     Here is the really good news: Hebrews 13: 5-6 Don't be obsessed with getting more material things. Be relaxed with what you have. Since God assured us, "I'll never let you down, never walk off and leave you," we can boldly quote, God is there, ready to help; I'm fearless no matter what. Who or what can get to me?

     We often look at God through the eyes of the pain our father's caused. We accept or reject Him because of the actions of our dads.

     If you are a dad who is struggling with wounds caused by your dad and ones that have affected how you have fathered your children I encourage you to sit down with your heavenly Father and ask Him to help you first forgive your dad and second to heal your emotional wounds so that you can bring this cycle of bad fatherhood to an end.

     If this post has stirred old hurts in your life now is the time to deal with them. Forgiving does not mean ignoring what took place. Forgiving is laying it all at the feet of Jesus and asking Him to help you deal with the wounds so that you can be the one who breaks the cycle of pain.

     If you are willing to take these steps I encourage you to do something before you do anything else. Either go out and get your dad a card or write him a letter or send him an email letting him know how important he is to you and that beginning today life will be different.

What Have You Overlooked?

I was just ironing a shirt which I have worn several times over the past few months. As I was running the iron over one of the sleeves I found a plastic tab that held the price tag. It struck me how I missed this both when I ironed the shirt and wore it before.

As I thought about that it dawned on me that often our character flaws are the same way. We live with them for years and do not even realize they are there. We tend to overlook our flaws as we notice those in others.

I will leave you with what Paul and James has to say about this subject.

1 Corinthians 13: 12 We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

James 1: 22-24 Don't fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don't act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like.

Climbing the Dunes Pictures Life

I have made a new post at REAL Men RoCK sharing how hiking the Great Sand Dunes pictures our struggles in life.

If you are struggling with issues in your life I encourage you to read this post. 

Prayer for Our Community

Father, Bless the church, the Baptist, the Methodist, the Lutheran, the Catholic, the Assembly of God, the Presbyterian, the New Life Family Church and the Cowboy Church, in Louisburg, KS. Grow the particular strengths of each body so that they might do Your work in the community. Break down barriers and tear down strongholds. Bring revival to our churches and then to our community. In the name of Jesus amen

Offending and Offended

I am going to share an experience I have recently had. I will try to make it as anonymous as possible but if you are close to the situation you will know what I am talking about. If you do know about the situation then you just might be the one to be able to point out error to the party in the wrong.

Let me begin by asking a couple of questions.

1. Have you ever been hurt by someone?

2. Have you ever hurt someone?

To be honest I have experienced both and within the recent year. What should you do when you are hurt by someone? In Matthew 18: 15-20 we are told by Jesus: "If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you've made a friend. If he won't listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won't listen, tell the church. If he won't listen to the church, you'll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God's forgiving love. 

"Take this most seriously: A yes on earth is yes in heaven; a no on earth is no in heaven. What you say to one another is eternal. I mean this. When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action. And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I'll be there."

And in Matthew 5: 23-24 Jesus tells us: "This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God."

I believe from these two scriptures we can get the picture that Jesus takes offending and being offended by someone very seriously. In both cases He tells the offender and the offended to seek out the other person.

Sometimes we come to a crossroad and we have to choose which way to go. One turn leads to being controlled by the other person and the other turn leads to me being released to move forward. We may have apologized for our behavior and we have explained to the other person how they have hurt us. Their response in both cases might not be favorable. That is why we stand at a cross road.

We have to understand part of the reason they refuse to acknowledge us has to do with their own insecurities and fears. 

It is my belief that once we have forgiven the offending party healing can begin in our lives and in the lives of others. I believe God wants us to be healed of the wounds that we have caused and that have been done to us. I base this on  2 Corinthians 5: 19 "namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation."

My question for you today is: "What offenses do you need to release others from or do you need to be released from?" I encourage you to drop what you are doing and find that person you have offended and seek forgiveness or seek out that person who has offended you and gently point out how they have hurt you. Then lay whatever it is at the feet of Jesus and get up and walk away from it leaving it with Him.